Multiple Blue Rings

Here's How Your Zodiac Sign Ends Up

Lined Circle
Multiple Blue Rings

This guide is satirical in nature and is designed for lighthearted reading pleasure. Continue reading, and may you have a long and happy life.


As was the case for the likely Capricorn, this sign has a hard time saying "no" to a challenge or declining a wager.


Multiple Blue Rings


A Taurus is the type of sign to choke to death on a bag of chips or to trip and tumble from their bed.


Gemini is so easily sidetracked and disorganised that they can't handle more than one thing at a time.


The cancer patient's mental load is too heavy, and ultimately fatal.


It's typical of Leo for them to try and nude tastefully on a terrace, only to end up with a fatal head injury.


In the end, Virgo succumbs to boredom, jumps out of a tree, or overdoses on herbal supplements.


A Libra dies at the hands of an envious spouse, untreated syphilis, or botched plastic surgery.


A Scorpio's grudges give them eternal life, so this is a trick query.


A Sagittarius either gets popped by a cork from a celebratory bottle of champagne, chokes to death while cackling hysterically at themselves


A Capricorn either gets killed when he drops a barbell on his foot or when he masturbates on a mattress full of cash.