This guide is satirical in nature and is designed for lighthearted reading pleasure. Continue reading, and may you have a long and happy life.
As was the case for the likely Capricorn, this sign has a hard time saying "no" to a challenge or declining a wager.
A Taurus is the type of sign to choke to death on a bag of chips or to trip and tumble from their bed.
Gemini is so easily sidetracked and disorganised that they can't handle more than one thing at a time.
The cancer patient's mental load is too heavy, and ultimately fatal.
It's typical of Leo for them to try and nude tastefully on a terrace, only to end up with a fatal head injury.
In the end, Virgo succumbs to boredom, jumps out of a tree, or overdoses on herbal supplements.
A Libra dies at the hands of an envious spouse, untreated syphilis, or botched plastic surgery.
A Scorpio's grudges give them eternal life, so this is a trick query.
A Sagittarius either gets popped by a cork from a celebratory bottle of champagne, chokes to death while cackling hysterically at themselves
A Capricorn either gets killed when he drops a barbell on his foot or when he masturbates on a mattress full of cash.